Friend, Girlfriend, Mistress

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I’ve only recently discovered SeaDove’s blog. She writes very touchingly.

This is a fine example of how unkinky being pleasing can be even in a D/s relationship:

We met up and I instantly felt I was where I needed to be. He was there to take care of me and attend to me and serve me and to put the stress of the last week behind me and to bring a smile to my face. He succeeded!!!

The first thing he did for me sounds sort of silly, but it really shows that he is really there for me, and wanting to take care of me and my needs. As we were talking on the phone, figuring out where I needed to go to find him, I mentioned having to pee. So first things first, when I found him he made sure I got to go. It sounds silly, but it isn’t. He didn’t say, ‘can you hold it and we can drive here or there’, he just made sure that my needs were taken care of.

Lovely Day

Naturally long distance relationships breed uncertain thoughts:

I know I am jumping the gun, but I think about the future. What if we lived near by each other? (We are currently a 2 hour drive from each other.) Would I want to see him more than he would want to see me? Would he want more of my time than I want to give? How would our differences show up if we had to opportunity to see each other several times a week vs only a time or two a month?

Many women when they first think about being D/s, LFA fear they are expected to be monsters. Only a foolish man would want that.

I know there are people who would just say….I am the Domme and he is the sub and if he wants to be with me he should just put up with my way of life. Although on some level I agree with that. I don’t really agree with it on a day to day basis. He is human. He is more than just a submissive. He is a person that needs time to be himself.

Her guy says it so well:

He once wrote to me, “We are friends first, boyfriend and girlfriend second, Mistress and sub third.”

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my dear man (49 - 6’ and 250lbs of solid army officer steel) told me he wanted a Mistress 24/7 … then he says MONTHS - almost 2 years later that he didn’t … i was new to ALL of it (i’m 44) so i’ve learned he IS a person first - my BEST friend - my future husband - a man who needs time to recharge - sometimes in his cave as any man might - alone - without having to “report” to me … and i don’t NEED to be Mistress all the time - it is all just for US - i never had this before and never will if it ever ends :)

I so totally agree with these last statements of treating ur man like a human.. women tend to go so far beyond limits n a caring man would just play along :(.. they need to show their side of affection, if they r given power abuse it in the right way.. hope i wasnt offensive to anyone :(

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