Making a Woman Dominant - Possible?

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Can a wife or girlfriend with few - if any - kinky inclinations be persuaded to satisfy the submissive and masochistic desires of their husband or boyfriend?

Some say yes, others no. Here’s an extract from an ongoing discussion:

Looked at from this perspective, the question “Is it possible to ‘convert’ a straight woman to be the domme of your dreams?” needs careful examination. “Is it possible to ‘convert’ a straight woman” - I think it’s hard to argue that it’s wrong to try to open someone to new experiences that they might enjoy, and which might benefit the relationship. The problematic bit is “[to convert her to] the domme of your dreams?”. If it were possible to change the people around us into what we imagine we would like them to be, then life would be much easier than it is. Asking one’s partner to be dominant may be good, but insisting that they conform to a fantasy creation is clearly undesirable and impossible.

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You cannot make a person into something they are not, but you can awaken desires a person never knew they had. I have introduced female dominance to a few ladies who never knew how much they could enjoy it. One lady told me she would never go back to vanilla relationships with men.

I once managed to do just that, but with disastrous results. My girlfriend had a strong personality- perhaps that is what attracted me to her in the first place. Over the months I led her to take more and more control over me sexually - until she had very much become the ultimate domme. We did everything, and wow was it good. but… a domme is a very demanding girlfriend indeed! Pretty soon I was an emasculated boyfriend, and the relationship crashed! So, beware what you wish for, it may come true!

I think that a woman can become dominant without a man having to say a thing. A man can subtly show her how enjoyable it is to have a submissive husband. Here are some tips that may work.

When she begins to clean up the kitchen after a meal tell her to go watch TV and relax that you’ll be glad to do the job for her. Offer to do the grocery shopping and suggest that maybe she could go to the mall or have lunch with her girlfriends instead.

Rent a movie she likes and make her drink then tell her you’ll do the laundry. If she asks you to do something like taking out the trash say yes ma’am in a soft voice and do it immediately.

Anytime she ever acts assertive or bossy even in the slightest way, reward her by doing something nice like buying her a gift or taking her out to a show.

If you ever get into a debate or an argument with her back down and tell her that she is right, give her the victory. If she ever playfully hits or smacks you, thank or kiss her.

If she wants to visit her family and you want to go out with boys golfing or whatever bend to her desire and go visit the family with her.

If her drink is almost empty offer to make her another one.

Treat her like a Queen and maybe she’ll start acting like one. Queens give orders and subjects obey.

Use your imagination on the above suggestions. But know this, you cannot force or coerce her into being dominate, let her discover the joy of it by herself and in the end you’ll both be happier for it.

If you have a housework fetish, those tips will work just fine. But d/s is about much more than that, and doesn’t have to include housework. Being a bossy, spoiled sack o’ greed is much different than being dominant in a bdsm sense.

As to letting her win arguements, being unsatisfied and letting things fester within you won’t help. D/s isn’t a solution to relationship problems. Things need to be worked out so that both people are happy.

My wife was feeling job burn-out. I volunteered to do all the weekend chores so she could lay on the sofa and relax. I found that I became excited by serving her and asked her to have me bring her anything she wanted so she could just relax and watch her favorite TV shows. I knew she was too tired for sex, something we hadn’t had in a couple of months. Yet, I found serving to be quite stimulating.

I told her how it excited me sexually and asked her to continue doing it. She was a little hesitant because her nature is that of a “Pleaser.” She has been trying it and admits that she does enjoy having housework and shopping off her shoulders, but still wants, sometimes, to do for me.

She is gradually having me do more things for her, but she doesn’t want our family or friends to know she is doing this and she doesn’t want to use the label “submissive”. She is a little more comfortable with the word “subserviant”. I would find it very simulating for her to have me do things for her in front of her/our friends…just sort of a gesture that might be recognized or might not. And it would be interesting to see which women picked up on it and spoke favorably about what they were seeing.

Anyway, we have been doing this for about 6 months. She has given up worrying about working around home. Occassionally, if I have been busy at work and don’t get something done, she will ask me to put that task at the top of my list. That is good, but I wish she wouldn’t need to “ask” me, but rather would just “tell” me to do it.

When we disagrre about something, she is becoming a little more assertive. She often tells me that she is always right and for me to just admit it. Ofcourse I agree right then and bow to her superiority. She giggles, but each time it happens, she seems to feel a little more entitled.

A couple weeks ago, she told me that oral sex was the only way she could still have an orgasm. I told her how much I enjoyed giving it and she offered to let me do it. We took it slow, but after a while, she took hold of my head with both hands and rode me to an exhausting orgasm. These occasions may be far apart, but they are great fuel for my masturbation fantasies. I am looking forward to seeing how we will be interacting a year from now. Wish us luck!

Hi, I wish my wife was more assertive in bed, or with sex in general. She has had sex with other guys in front of me for me.I love it. I wish she was more of a slut or hotwife but she just isnt into it. I wish she would get gangbanged for me.

You can’t push, or convert. However, you can ask for specific activities tailored to her existing erotic and emotional needs, and then build on these…

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Thanks,
Richard

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