Setbacks
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Alexandra - my own Beloved - writes of a time when we weren’t able to get the BDSM dynamic going:
The result of this is that most nights we just cuddle. Nothing wrong with that but we both know we want more. The times when I am feeling dominant, I sense Richard is too exhausted to play. Occasionally I have gone into ‘soft domination’ only to have something not be right and turn me off. Though we’ve thought about exploring scenes where he’s tired, without a pre-arranged erotic context it feels to me like it wouldn’t work. Richard has come from a sexually deadening relationship and my nurturing side wants to do the right thing more than my dominant side wants to, well, dominate. Forcing him to be submissive when he perhaps isn’t ready for it or doesn’t want to could be damaging at this stage.
Don’t let that depress you. We got past it and are if anything more in love with one another than before.
