Pacing

This entry relies on a few stereotypes. It is a given that generalizations are of limited use. But they can be employed for a purpose.

When hitherto convedntional men and women begin exploring power exchange between dominant females and submissive males the latter is to run ahead. Less nicely put he’s impatient. Wants it all now.

His fantasy life has built up inside his mind and he’s burden with suppressed urges. Some of these are fantasies that may never come true. Others surely will given time for the relationship to progress properly.

This can be a real source of stress for a woman new to erotic dominance (and experienced ones as well but I’m assuming it is the woman taking her first steps with a boyfriend or husband - or maybe a stranger - who is most likely to read this).

Don’t Let Him Push You

Don’t let the guy wheedle you into trying something that you find distasteful or aren’t yet ready to explore. Your desires may expand, your confidence increase given time.

Some would say that refusing him is a natural part of D/s. Maybe: it depends on the relationship. But there is a more important element.

If a woman allows a man to push her faster and harder than she wants to go then she may decide to abandon the project of exploring dominance and submission with him. By giving in both may wind up with nothing.

Go at your own pace. Remind him that he has been telling you - as he surely has - that it is all about pleasing you. (Naturally both must be pleased or there’s no basis for a relationship.)

If gets too pushy refuse to dominant him for a week. In this case taking away the kink is more affective than employing some form of punishment which really may be a treat for the guy anyway.